The Perfectionist’s Rehabilitation

I'm not even going to lie; perfectionism has held me back from achieving so much simply because I never allowed myself to try, to learn. If I couldn't immediately master it, I didn’t even consider it.

I excelled at many things, but few of them really meant much to me. I’d cross the finish line and regularly ask myself, “For what, though?” The thing I've always been drawn to, but was also intensely intimidated by was expressed creativity and deep connections with people. Opportunities in my life begging me to validate my natural talents but couldn't bear the thought at 'failing' at something really important… again.

See, in my earlier years when I was too naive to know what failure looked like, I was ready to do anything and everything with no hesitation. The thing is, I never had a plan, no direction; I just set out in the wilderness so sure that my passion would carry me. So many great ideas were lost to my immaturity. (If you don't believe me, you can find many abandoned ideas of mine scattered across the internet!)

I saw these losses as inadequacy. I'd gotten to the end of my "I’ll try one more time." I was done trying, so instead I chose to excel at whatever low hanging fruit I could find. Honestly, I was very successful in that, but I was never satisfied. Not until I grew up (not the same as growing older) and decided "This is important enough to face the possibility of failure again." and “This is important enough to take my time, be intentional, make mistakes, and keep going.”

Desire led me to the most Me place there is: blissfully drowning in ideas and inspiration that are no longer weighed down by the need to get it right.

Now I'm just gettin' it!!!