Being the Rock & the Hard Place

There’s true beauty in being your own boss and there’s true agony in managing people, even when you’re that person.

I’ve been ineffectively refereeing an internal tug of war for what feels like too long. One side will not abandon their cause, fighting on the side of healthy rebellion and freedom to only strive to be who I need to be. The other side protects and adheres the wisdom that humans thrive under structure, responsibility, and purpose.

Meanwhile, day-to-day Simone is assuredly aware that these two could have a great partnership without a clue of how to prove that point. How do I make sure that each has belief has majority power in the areas that its most effective? How do I convince those parts of myself that we’re all moving towards the same goal?

Wait a minute! I think I’ve identified my problem.

If this were a business:

These ideas are not my bosses that need to work together to manage the company. I’m the boss that needs to remind these two that they’re a part of the same business, just managers of different departments. The Creative team has no authority over the business' administration and vice versa. I am.

If this were scientific research:

These two don’t stop causing explosions because their chemistry makeup will always create this type of reaction. It’s my responsibility as the scientist, the owner of this procedure, to work with these elements correctly to attempt to reach the desired outcome. They do not determine the success of this experiment. I do.

If this were a sports team:

Dissension between Defense and Offense doesn’t just evaporate after they’ve bickered enough. Discord is to be expected in this environment if there’s no shared objective. That’s where a good coach comes in. Helps its players remember that they are different components to the shared success of failure of this team. One side being in charge doesn’t ensure a win, actually nothing does, but unity in purpose and diversity in efforts stacks the odds in our/my favor.

So, all in all, part of the fun in this adventure is engaging with yourself as a person (part of the collective), but also as an individual (someone with incomprehensibly unique experiences, thoughts, desires) is to learn how to find the balance in honoring both. The good news is that there’s much more trial than error if you choose to learn as you go.

Remember that whenever the specific, peculiar humanity in you is recognized and encouraged to live, it might come out of the cage on a rampage like Taz the Tasmanian devil, but you are the rock and can be compassionate, patient and forgiving because for a long time, that side of you has been in a hard place.